


Hiss Hiss Motherfucker

by Comp_Lady



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Gen, Humor, Snakes, well one snake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 07:50:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comp_Lady/pseuds/Comp_Lady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is tiny, brown with a light stripe running the length of its body, and scared the shit out of Geoff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hiss Hiss Motherfucker

“Ah fuck!” Geoff let out a strangled shout and stumbled back out of the garage.

“Geoff? Are you ok?” Gavin asks, having left the house just in time to see Geoff fall.

Geoff climbs to his feet, attempting to maintain as much dignity as he can, “I’m fucking fine. There’s just a snake in your goddamn floor.”

Gavin pokes his head through the door, looking for the offending reptile. All he can see is a mess of sand. When he says as much to Geoff it earns him a work glove thrown at his head and Geoff telling him to “look harder dumbass, cause it’s there.” It takes several more minutes of looking before he finally spots the snake. The thing is tiny, brown with a light stripe running the length of its body, and is curled up in a corner of the room facing the wall. Gavin, being the helpful and understanding sort of guy that he is, promptly starts laughing his ass off.

“Is that it?” Gavin asks, “That tiny thing is what you freaked out over? That’s nothing!”

With a grimace Geoff shoves at the younger man’s shoulder, “If it isn’t such a big deal then you get rid of it, asshole.”

Instead of helping further Gavin slumps against the door frame laughing, completely useless. With a muttered curse Geoff shoves at his shoulder again and glances into the garage-turned-apartment. The snake remains curled in the sand, unmoving.

“How the fuck did it even get in there?”

Gavin’s laughter calms into giggles. “We left the door open when we went to eat, that’s how.”

Before Geoff can retort the snake shifts, uncurling and turning its little head to the door. Geoff totally does not squawk when he leaps back from the door.

“Oh shut up and just get that thing out of here!” he says, voice cracking.

Gavin continues to laugh. Helpfully, of course.

Ten minutes later (after Geoff has taken to sulking in a chair and Gavin has accumulated a bruise on his thigh that is suspiciously in the shape of Geoff’s shoe and the snake has moved from one side of the room to the other) Griffon emerges from the house.

“What are you two doing?” she asks, glancing between Gavin and her husband.

“I’m thinking I’m going to feed Gavin to the snake.” Geoff replies.

Gavin only starts laughing harder in return.

“Snake? What— there’s a snake?”

“Yeah, it crawled into the fucking garage earlier.”

Griffons walks over to the garage to look inside. “Oh that little thing in the corner?” she smiles, “honey I’m pretty sure that it’s harmless.” She moves further into the shed to get a better look at the little snake.

Geoff groans, “I don’t care just get rid of it.”

Griffon is smiling as she exits the garage and goes back into the house, returning with a clear bucket and lid. “You sure you don’t want to wait for Gavin to calm down enough to record this?” The groan she gets in answer makes her laugh.

It takes only minute for Griffon to herd the little snake into the corner. Carefully she sets the bucket down in front of it and begins nudging it into the bucket. It attempts a last minute escape, veering off to the right for the corner of the room only to be scooped up before it can slither its way to freedom. Upon exiting the garage Geoff is nowhere to be seen but Gavin and Millie are there, happily peering at the snake curled in the sand in the bucket. They follow Griffon as she goes down the street to an empty lot to set it free, already planning to look up snake the moment they get back to figure what kind it was.

In the office the next day Gavin is suspiciously quiet about the entire ordeal, but Geoff chooses not to say anything. The whole office doesn’t _need_ to know that he was scared out of his own backyard by a garter snake. It isn’t until just after lunch, when everyone is engrossed in their own editing, that Gavin gets a text. The noise that comes out of his phone isn’t the damned bird noise that they’re used to. Instead it is a short, high-pitched squawk.

 A relatively familiar short, high-pitched squawk.

 “The fuck was that?” Michael’s exclamation being the loudest.

“It’s my new text noise.” Gavin answers, unable to keep a straight face.

“Obviously,” says Jack, “we’re wondering _what noise_ that was.”

Gavin laughs, “It’s Geoff. Funny thing happened yesterday when we were replacing the floor in what I guess is my apartment now...”

It takes an hour for the story to spread through the entire company.

**Author's Note:**

> [Hey! You can find me on Tumblr, come chat :D](http://comp-lady.tumblr.com)


End file.
